My Psychological Tower
I'm just a kitty with strong magic. And I'm the only cat who knows where it's at.

Band nerd- Euphonium, tuba, trombone. Ohio University Marching 110. Former Boy Scout. Brother of Kappa Kappa Psi.

I post about whatever I feel, anime, Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, politics, band, DCI, cats, etc etc

Follow me or something.
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15 Day Marching Challenge.

Day 1 - Name, instrument, position, school, background
Day 2 - Favorite corps
Day 3 - Favorite show you’ve performed
Day 4 - Least favorite show you’ve performed
Day 5 - Favorite show you’ve seen
Day 6 - Favorite marching memory
Day 7 - Least favorite marching memory
Day 8 - The one feeling during the season that you won’t ever forget
Day 9 - Biggest marching disappointment
Day 10 - Greatest marching achievement
Day 11 - Favorite marching tradition
Day 12 - A note to your director(s)
Day 13 - A note to your section leader
Day 14 - Design your own dream show
Day 15 - Your statement to the world about marching

My least favorite memory.. It was the Monday after what was suppose to be our first game (freshman year), the Friday before it rained. And there was a lot of lightning. The game was rescheduled for Saturday on the last minute, and somehow enough of the band assembled so that we could march the show, but the buses never came. We stood in the parking lot in the heat for hours, in wool uniforms, but we had fun. How is this relevant to your least favorite memory? you ask, you’ll find out real soon.

As the things that happened Saturday happened, I remembered thinking “Where is Sam? I don’t think 2 first year baritone marchers can handle doing this without a squad leader.” on Monday, the director addressed the entire band, informing us Sam’s mother had died on Sunday. Sam then moved in with her father in some small town in the middle of nowhere, luckily she could still make it to the games and continue her role as squad leader. She was unable to return to the school until May. Her mother was described as the definition of a band mom, and its unfortunate that we lost her like that.

There was a silver lining on this dark cloud, band members were able to go on a field trip to the funeral, and stop for lunch after. I was the only freshman on the trip, and a certain tuba/sax- playing senior took the opportunity to befriend me. 

spacejoyridin:

Craaaazy.

this…. o.O

spacejoyridin:

Craaaazy.

this…. o.O

Epitaph

This is actually the second epitaph I wrote for myself. This one imitates the style of Ben Franklin’s epitaph he wrote in 1728.

The Body of

Bob “bdogg” (last name)

Rapper; Euphonist

Like an abandoned recital hall/ Where no more notes resonate,/ And the seats are lonely and empty.

Lies here, yesteryear’s Grammy winner/ But the Music shall not be forgotten: But it will, as he believ’d, be reprised/ In a new and more perfect Arrangement,/ Remixed and covered/ By the Musician

He was born September 13, 1994

Died 2039*

*Death year came from predictions from friends.


In conversation with my friend, I brought up the fact that I think my grandma is dying. She has a boatload of medical problems that I didn’t pay much attention to when my Mom talked about them, she isn’t exactly getting the treatment she should be, and she’s getting addictions from the drugs she’s gotten from the few appointments she actually went to. After so long of half the family talking about it, it hit me that she’s probably gonna be gone sooner if not later. I tried to told myself that I’ve accepted this, but I really haven’t. The discussion with my friend made me realize that I need to stop lying to myself. Now.

Now, my grandma really isn’t that central in my life. Being from my mom’s side, she lived out in the country, and fled to Florida during the winter to escape the Ohio cold. Every now and then she’d come around, we visited her a few times a year when she’s up north. If I mail her my report card, she sends a check according to my grades. Now would be when I get straight As.

Now, The last time someone in my immediate family died, it was my grandpa, said grandma’s husband. I was 7, in first grade. It’s been 9 years, I’m such a different person now. My only real fear is what my limits are, going through things I haven’t really experienced will push those limits. I don’t know when they’ll push back. This is why I’m really worried. How will I react? There’s only one way to find out. It’s best that I let these feelings out now. If she really is on a downward spiral, at least now I’m more prompted.

I’m a bit more confident now, if this does happen, I have tumblr where I can let anything out. My friend tries to be here as much as possible. I have other friends can definitely add some sunshine into my life. I can take out stress with games, anime, any form of art really, those also provide escapism, especially music. And I can make that myself.

Besides, my grandma will be going sometime anyways, she might want to kick the bucket now. And with the new lifestyle she has, her new man has her drinking a lot and stuff. That’s kinda asking for it.

Really, I’m more prepared for whatever happens. Despite being in tune with my feelings, I’m a fortress. I should pass this test.

The Law of Mortality Amplification

A Law of Anime, drafted by yours truly

Whenever a “good guy” main character dies, or appears to have died, in a combat situation, A character that has close ties to the now perceived dead character will scream the dead’s name at an unnaturally loud volume.

Lowering the Bar: How To Greet Death

lobar:

Greet death
With your hands in your pockets,
Slouched back, cool,
Collected, and confident.
Wear a hint of a grin
And a dash of cologne.
Say What took you so long?
Say You’re behind the times, man.
Say Dead is the new black.
Coffin is the new condo.
Pallor is the new tan.
La vida muerta.

We randomly went to the zoo.

Well… randomly as in my dad got free tickets from his place of employment. Plus free ice cream.

Mostly looked at….. wait for it…

Wait for it…

CATS!

What else?

But then we ate at McDonald’s and that was a terrible idea. Everything about McDonald’s is wrong. Last time I went there I was… not sober and in dire need of food, and I really shouldn’t go there again regardless of circumstances.

I don’t know what happened since I last had chicken McNuggets, but they fuckin taste terrible now. Even the coke didn’t taste right. HOW do you fuck up coke?? I feel like death now.

During Skull Session, my dad got a call.

His best friend, whom he has known all his life, died yesterday. He was complaining about back pain and took the day off of work. When his son came home from school…

They live in Florida, he has been married to his wife for almost exactly 20 years. The other day my dad left a message on the guy;s phone wishing him a happy anniversary and stating that he wants to visit more often after he finishes school.

I know the guy and his family quite well. They would come up to Ohio whenever they could. Last saw him about a month ago.

My dad didn’t tell me until after the game.

He’s a real trooper. If he had told me and said that we were leaving then and there I would’ve completely understood. I saw the shows at Skull Session, there’s no need to sit in a cold, crowded stadium after being informed of that.

But instead h stayed and enjoyed the game. For me. A son that insists on going to an expensive college because marching band.

There are times where I might think badly of him, but few fathers would make that kind of sacrifice. I could never express how thankful I am.

Because I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days-

I’m honestly more scared about the mortality of those that I care about than I am of my own.

it’s kinda weird cause if one of my friends are absent from school we assume they died but if that was actually fucking true I would lose my shit completely.

And also my bros established a general order in when we’re gonna die and I’m supposed to be the last. Like I’ll be 50. “What’ll I have to do?”

"… [girl that you like]."

-___-

I think it all started in 6th grade when I one day realized I may never see a certain girl again and she will die someday and i started crying. At least the first half of that is true, btw. i mean I never saw her again after 6th grade. She probably hasn’t died yet but I’ll never know.

But when my time comes I’ll probably just be like “Oh.” and I’ll be uncertain about what happens next. And then I’ll find out.